My One True Desire
by axelfar
Summary: Julien longs to be with Kowalski, but he's already taken. Now he can only watch and fantasize about what could have been.


For those waiting for an update to _Our Little Secret_, it'll be out soon. I wrote this short one-shot story when I was feeling lonely. It's in Julien's first person point of view.

* * *

His body was perfect. It was long and slender, with just the right amount of muscle. Black and white feathers adorned his figure, not a single one out of place. His eyes could charm you with one glance, and you would be lost in a sea of blue. I've been lost in them so many times I've lost count. They were just the tip of the iceberg though. His voice would make you his captive. Deep and seductive. It didn't matter if I understood what he said, the way he said it set my skin on fire and raised my fur.

I've been interested in him for awhile now. His smiles, his smirks, sad faces, and quirks. I like him more than I should. I like him in a way I shouldn't. Maurice tells me I'm falling in love, and I'm starting to believe him. Maybe I already am in love. I long for him more and more each day. I sit on my throne and watch him from afar. I go visit him any chance I get. I try being nice, but I can't get him to pay attention to me. _He _always gets in the way.

That's how I learned I liked the smart one. He and the crazy one became a couple. I saw them rub their beaks together and a strange new feeling came over me. A feeling of anger toward the crazy one, and sadness at seeing the brainy one enjoy it. Afterward, all I could think about was the smart one. I tried to get him out of my head, but it was impossible. Every time we would meet my heart would flutter and get a happy feeling. I found myself flirting with him. He didn't notice, but I think the crazy one did. Soon he was always next to the genius. I could never get alone time with him. I started hating the one with the scar more and more.

As they fell more in love, I did too. I would find ways to get him alone with me. During those times I felt truly happy. He beak would smile so beautifully that I would melt. It was so very tempting. One day, I couldn't help myself. He smiled at me and I leaned in and kissed him. I didn't know what his reaction was, my eyes had closed in bliss. I think he was shocked. His body tensed even as I lovingly embraced him. I pull away and gaze into his eyes. He's shocked and confused, but I can still see the reaction I want, the reaction I long for. A glimmer of lust. I would have kissed him again, but the other penguin walked in. The brute yelled and me and even threatened to hurt me, but my love stopped him. He told me to leave, and I reluctantly did so. I never spent another moment alone with him after that. The bossy one even told me to stay away from the sciency one. The nerve of him. I'm a king. What I want, I get.

So I sent him flowers and food and lavish gifts, but nothing worked. He stayed with the kaboomy one. He's still with the kaboomy one. I watch them finish up their sparing practice and know what comes next. It hurts to watch, but I need release, and I always have the perfect view. The brainy one is knocked onto his back and the crazy one gets on top of him. They always start with a beak rub and neck pecks. Even though it should be cute, my blood boils in rage at how happy they are. That should be me lightly kissing and nuzzling him. They keep doing that for a few minutes, enjoying themselves while every moment feels like my heart is being pierced by needles. The one with the scar starts moving lower on the smart one's body. He reaches his target of the smart one's half erect member. Leaning in close, he gives it a long slow lick. The brainy one gives out a beautiful moan that wakes up my own cock. I watch closely from the tree above them as the kaboomy one licks and teases until the scientist is fully erect. This is the part I love the most. I can just close my eyes and listen to my love give the most incredible moans that sends tingles through my body and sets fire to my soul. The crazy one starts sucking him and they begin. First as whimpers and then as full blown moans. I'm fully erect now and my hand slowly goes down to firmly grasp it. I let out a quiet sigh as it makes contact. I start at a slow pace. I know they usually take half an hour to finish, and I make sure to last that long.

With my eyes closed I insert myself into what's going on below. The smart one is at my mercy. I flick my tongue out to lick his tip. He moans and arches his back at the touch. I smile and take more of him in my mouth. My tongue runs over every part of his cock, savoring the taste. My muzzle moves closer to the base of his shaft and I'm rewarded with some precum leaking onto my tongue. He's moaning up a storm at this point. I bob my head up and down while holding his hips. His breathing is shallow and erratic. Damn, even his pants are sexy. My hand on my member has sped up. I bite my bottom lip to keep from moaning. I can't let them find out I'm here.

My love's moaning stops and I look down to see what happened. The crazy one had stopped sucking him off and was presenting him with his own erection. My love took him into his mouth, licking and sucking to lube him up for what comes next. Again I feel my blood start to boil. That beautiful beak should be wrapped around my aching cock, not that unworthy maniac's. My smart penguin was enjoying it too. Sadness entered my heart and my erection withered a bit. I turned away and prayed to the sky spirits the next part would come quickly. My prayers were answered when I heard my love's sharp intake of breath. Looking back down I see the crazy one had entered him. They always take it slow at first. I go back to stroking myself as they set up a steady rhythm. In and out, in and out. I don't have to close my eyes to imagine myself doing it. I can see it. Instead of that other penguin, it's me who's giving all the love and attention and pleasure. His eyes are closed and sweat drips down his forehead. A mixture of pleasure and pain shows on his face. I feel him all around me. He's so tight and it's hard not to start ramming into him. My cock sends waves of pleasure with every little movement. My breathing gets shallower as I pick up the pace. He feels like heaven. His eyes are glazed over as he stares lovingly at me. I lean over and kiss his forehead. He holds onto me tightly and I take the chance to change our positions. We're now sitting upright and I have him on my lap. I use the new position to start thrusting deeper into him. His face twists up in pleasure as he starts screaming out his moans, not caring who hears.

I can feel myself getting close. I don't want it to end. I need more time with my penguin. I try to slow it down but the way he squirms and writhes and groans just brings me closer to the edge. Any sound that comes out of his mouth is like nectar to my ears. When he starts begging to be fucked harder I just lose it.

"Kowalski."

I moaned his name out in a whisper as I rode the waves of ecstasy. Cum spewed from my cock in spades. I collected it all in my hand, making sure none fell down below. Sweating and panting, I bring my hand up to my lips and start licking it off. I pretend it's his, but I see through the illusion. All I can taste is myself, salty and bitter. By the time I'm done cleaning myself, I hear the other two finish.

"Rico!"

"Kwaski!"

I know I shouldn't, but I look down anyway. They're both lying down now, in each other's flippers. Both content and happy. They had each other while I had no one. No one to hug, to kiss, to love.

"I love you Rico."

"Lov ya too Kwaski."

I feel a single tear run down my cheek as my heart breaks into a million pieces. I can't look at them anymore. This part always hurt the most. But I will be back tomorrow to watch them do it again. I need to watch them to keep the dreams coming. I'm addicted. In the dreams, it's my name he's shouting out. Julien. I would give my kingdom to hear him shout it to the heavens in real life. I would give my soul to have him say, "I love you" to me.

"A raindrop? I don't see a cloud in the sky..."

I leave through the trees, the leaves hiding me from view. Back to the zoo and my two subjects. A nice smoothie and some entertainment will cheer me up. But I know nothing will fill the hole in my heart.

* * *

Unrequited love sucks. This could be one of the saddest things I've ever written. Off I go to write happier things now.


End file.
